Self care doesn’t have to be expensive, inaccessible, or Instagram-worthy. Let’s redefine self care in these three ways to make it work for us and not for the algorithms.
Okay. Don’t get me wrong. I love a massage. I love a mani pedi. I love a retreat. Bubble bath? Yes, please!
I’m not immune to the indulgences that you typically think of when you hear the word self care. In fact, I really enjoy them.
And there is a reality and a privilege wrapped up in these types of self care. They tend to be expensive and inaccessible for many.
And unfortunately, they are the types of self care we see over and over again in our social media feeds. Because they are Insta-worthy. I mean, the algorithm loves a bougie retreat in the woods, right?!
And yet how many of us can realistically jet off to some expensive airbnb that’s booked up a year in advance?
If you ever feel like you’re failing at self care, you’re not alone. Comparison is so easy when you’re scrolling social on the daily.
But I’m here to tell you that you are not failing self care. You simply need to redefine what self care is to you.
How do we redefine self care? Here are three suggestions to start with:
1. Think of self care as a form of adulting.
Let’s rethink self care as taking care of yourself in the simplest of ways. Often times, this looks like adulting.
Doing the things that maybe you don’t really feel like doing or tend to put off but know are important for your wellbeing.
This could look like:
- paying your bills
- doing laundry
- loading the dishwasher
- keeping your space clean and somewhat tidy
- taking medications or vitamins
- going to therapy
- grocery shopping
- cooking
If you let these things slip or get behind on them, it will impact your mental state and wellbeing. Maybe you can begin to think of these things not as chores but as self care. Notice if that shifts anything within you when you go to start these tasks.
2. Accept that self care can be boring.
If you only view self care as the things you’d feel super cool posting about on Insta, then you’ll be coming up short.
Self care doesn’t have to be sexy or trendy or Insta-worthy. Self care can be mundane or boring too.
Sometimes these “boring” types of self care can arguably be the most important.
Think:
- taking a shower
- eating regularly throughout the day
- moving your body
- staying hydrated
- getting enough sleep
- brushing your teeth
- meditating
- resting
Sure, posting a Reel of you resting isn’t super sexy but IMHO it is kind of a radical act in our hustle-and-grind culture and something we need to see more normalized.
We all could probably benefit from seeing more real, mundane lives depicted on social. It would probably help us feel more seen, normalized, and validated, and there might be less comparison, anxiety, and depression.
3. Remember that self care can be ever evolving.
Self care is not static and it’s definitely not a one-size-fits-all approach. Self care is dynamic, fluid, and individual.
What might feel like self care in one season of life might not feel like self care in another. For example, you might have seasons when even boring, adulting self-care feels inaccessible (i.e. resting or getting enough sleep when you’re postpartum).
Or maybe cooking before you had kids felt like self care but now that no one eats what you make (and maybe there’s some complaining involved too), cooking stirs up feelings of anxiety or frustration.
Know that it’s okay if the actions that once felt like care no longer feel that way. You are allowed to evolve and so is your self care.
Also, remember that self-care is individualized in nature. Meaning that what feels like self care to me may feel like the furthest thing from care to you.
For example, taking the time to sit and meditate feels like self care to me and I know others for whom meditation doesn’t feel safe because being in their body doesn’t feel safe.
There are no black-and-white definitions of what constitutes self care. You get to decide for yourself what self care is to you.
Perhaps you start making a list of all the actions or activities that feel like self care. Once you allow yourself to think outside of the box, you might be surprised at all the tools you have in your self care tool belt.
What would go on your self care list? Tell me a few things in the comments below!
For more self care inspiration, check out my blog posts below:
How to Practice Self Compassion
3 Ways to Practice Self Compassion Around the Holidays
